Book Contents

One of the more challenging aspects of the recovery-healing process was verbalizing my feelings, deep hurts, and woundedness - the putting into words of the confusion, the turmoil, the overwhelming fears, and the sadness within me. healing of a violated spirit took ten years to write. Just as it was not for me easy to verbalize during the recovery-healing process, putting the unraveling of a complex emotional, spiritual, and relational journey into readable text was also not easy.

The Table of Contents from healing of a violated spirit communicates. It is a journey in itself - a glimpse of going from deep confusion to emotional and spiritual renewal. My purpose in writing was not merely to tell my story but more importantly, to offer a first-hand, life experienced, honest, and transparent tool for those wanting the confusion gone - wanting freedom from the burden of guilt, shame, and unworthiness - and wanting the barriers in relationships to disappear.

Excerpts from healing of a violated spirit can be located in the "Excerpts" link of this website.

Part I Taking a Stand

The Man in the House, the Man in the Bed
The Author’s Style of Writing
A Survivor’s Journey, A Marriage Story
Repressed Memories
Seeing God Through Wounded Eyes

Part II Triggering of Memories - Reconnecting to Reality

Moments that Traumatized
False Truth Blocks My Tears
Touch - A Barrier in Relationships
My Body Remembers what My Mind Repressed
My Work - Not Good Enough to Please
Responding to Inward Nudges
Love, Hate, Fear Relationships
Entanglement of the Five Senses
When Fun is Distorted
Not Worthy of Compassion
Challenge My Thinking
Trusting Those Who Trust

Part III Remembering

Venturing Beyond Unseen Walls
Beneath Anger is Fear
Massive Knot of Tension
Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome
Emotional Triggers
Do You Think Me Crazy?
Counseling
Anhedonia - Inability to Experience Pleasure
No One Understands Me
Stress I Carry Punishes No One but Myself
Cycles and Conflicts

Part IV Spiritual Abuse

Toxic Religion vs. Grace Filled Relationship
One Massive Fear
Neediness
Journaling and Freedoms Gained
Failure to Communicate
Battle between Evil and Good
Discouragement and Depression
Marriage Out of Balance

Part V What You Focus on Grows Stronger

Will I Ever be Free to Surrender All?
Hurtful Words - Edifying Words
Negative Cycles with Strong Emotional Triggers
Perfectionism, Claustrophobia, and Panic Attacks
Verbalizing Perfectionism, Claustrophobia, and Panic Attacks
Unseen Filth

Part VI It's All about Relationships

God Doesn't Hurt Little Children
Generational Dysfunction
Changing the Dynamics of the Relationship
Hiding Places
Freeing the Spirit Within
Sadness Hidden Behind the Wall
Sexual Emotional Responses
From Childhood Abandonment to New Freedoms

Part VII Release, Closure, Going Forward

Freedom From Guilt and Shame
I Need to be Believed
Freedom to Confront the Perpetrator of My Past
Reclaiming My Childhood
Self-blame is a Piece of the Puzzle
Freedom From Toxic Shame