Welcome to the Heal The Wounded Spirit website

As a child

I wanted someone - anyone -
to see my wounded spirit -
to rescue me from what I did not understand
and was powerless to control.
I wanted someone - anyone - to intercede -
to protect me - to make my world safe.
When no one came to my rescue,
I became my own hero-rescuer.
I cannot rescue every survivor of
abuse or traumatic events.
Yet I am now free to speak
what I have learned to be true -
a person's soul, once violated,
can be renewed to wholeness.

Hi! I'm Shelley G. Jones, author of healing of a violated spirit. Welcome to the Heal the Wounded Spirit website.

First, let me share with you a bit about myself. I'm a wife, mother, and grandmother. Indiana has been my home state since 1970. In 1985, my husband Bill and I started a hybrid seed corn company. We raise varieties of corn that are bagged and then sold to farmers for planting in the United States and foreign countries. I'm also a survivor of childhood sexual, spiritual, and emotional abuse.

Bill and I had been married fourteen years when the “lid” that had been holding my anger and fear in check no longer could contain the fiery rage within me. Deep in the unseen of my mind, a cauldron of intense emotions had been churning since childhood.

I knew something was seriously wrong with me. I knew that I was not like other women who shared friendships, who laughed and enjoyed life - women who could share their feelings and emotions - women who could cope with the daily ups and downs of life. The chaos I felt within me consumed every moment of my existence. I was terrified of going crazy.

Crisis? Yes, I was in a serious and life threatening emotional and spiritual crisis. But the crisis I was living was not mine alone. The turmoil of my existence quickly engulfed my marriage and family. And who became the target my rage? Bill was the man in the house, the man in the bed. He became the undeserving scapegoat for the abusive actions of those in my past.

Fortunately for me, the minister of the church we were attending realized I was battling serious issues. He confronted me about my anger. He said he saw me on the brink of an emotional breakdown. He told me I was destroying relationships with my angry words and tone of voice. He looked me in the eye and told me he feared I was close to harming myself or someone else.

Though I could not see or understand what he was saying at the time (my defensive and protective walls were too fortified), he was 100% correct on all accounts. Surely there was some reason for my confusion, anger, and mood swings - reasons for the helplessness, exhaustion, and despair I felt.

In one of the first counseling sessions the counselor asked about my childhood. There seemed to be an impassable barrier between my growing up years and my married life - an invisible wall between my childhood and adulthood. I could easily express my anger at those in the present but I went oddly numb when thinking of family members and friends in my past. In all truth, I had no desire to venture beyond that unseen wall - to remember people and events. Both were connected to strong feelings of mad, sad, glad, and scared - feelings I had long suppressed.

There was good reason I did not want to venture back to my childhood. For on the other side of the invisible wall - the wall that protected me from the world and all feelings - were long repressed memories of sexual abuse and spiritual unworthiness. As I entered into the recovery process, I soon realized that when one puts up walls to protect oneself, the same walls become a prison. In all reality, the reality I didn't want to face, I was a prisoner bound behinds walls of anger, fears, and hatred.

Throughout the recovery process, I desperately wanted Bill to see beneath my anger, to understand what I struggled to comprehend, and to love me when I felt my life held little value. Bill longed to see me emotionally and sexually healthy. But his efforts triggered just the opposite - my emotional fury. Tensions, misunderstandings, and resentments created an ever-widening barrier between us. More than once we were faced with the question, "Do we divorce - go our separate ways?" Yet our marriage not only survived the crisis that threatened to destroy us, today it thrives.

Today, I actively speak out against the injustices of abuse. I have heard countless stories of heartache and pain. There are countless yet to be told. The need of survivors, the need for good counseling, and the need for understanding is great. Together we can make a difference.

It is my hope that as a society we might firmly stand and say, "We will goal to end all forms of abuse!"

Statistics and the "baggage" we carry

1 out of 3 (possible 2) girls and women are victims of sexual abuse before the age of 18.

1 out of 5 boys are victims of sexual abuse before the age of 18.

There are no statistics of those who have endured emotional, spiritual, psychological, mind-controlling, or physical abuse.

There are no statistics of how many marriages involve partners who are survivors of abuse, trauma, or victimization. By odds alone, the number is alarmingly high.

The number of divorces in the United States is rapidly escalating. I fully believe that at the core of struggling marriages and countless divorces are unresolved issues of deep woundedness, the garbage a woman or man brings into the relationship.

healing of a violated spirit is the book my husband and I needed in the mid-1980s when we founded ourselves facing a crisis we didn't understand. We feel for every husband, wife, and family engulfed in a relational turmoil due to the baggage of past abuse. We pray that the information contained within the pages of healing of a violated spirit may deepen understanding, strengthen commitment, and offer hope. Statistics can be changed.